A Little Debate
by Maddy02
Summary: Humiliation's the law when Xellos tries to get one over Amelia again. Can she escape this time? 3rd in the contest series, implied trad


It had taken six and a half years, four bottles of cheap liquor, three promises of absolute secrecy and one _very_ convincing puppy-dog look but Amelia had finally achieved that which no other woman ever had, or ever would again;

She had convinced Zelgadiss Greywords to divulge the date of his birth.

Of course, being sworn to secrecy she couldn't throw an elaborate party in his honour when the time came because then everyone would know when it was and that would break the code of justice. However it also wouldn't be just to allow the day to slip by completely uncelebrated, but one couldn't hold a party for no reason.

It was lucky then that the main temple in Saillune had a celebration within three days of his birthday, and that as heir to the throne she had the authority to declare a week long festival to celebrate _that_.

She told Zel, that the fact a royal banquet had been scheduled on his birthday was because it was the only day the high priest was able to attend it and was all just a happy coincidence.

She didn't tell him there were in fact three high priests and that between them they could have made it to each day of the festival.

Lina and Gourry arrived a week early, claiming they were there to make sure the food for the festival was completely up to scratch before the event. A service which the chef informed them they had to _savour_ the food for and not wolf it down without chewing. Amelia saved the kitchens from destruction via Dragon Slave by suggesting Gourry help Zelgadiss rota the guards for during the festival and train a few of the newer recruits while Lina helped her come up with ideas for the end of the festival.

"_She didn't have that much tact when we first met._" Lina thought idly as the princess dragged her to a drawing room conveniently placed as far as possible from the kitchens and immediately launched into her plans the moment they arrived.

"I thought we could have a firework display, Filia-san brought some Jilias had made the last time she visited and they were very pretty. Or we could have a dance, I know there's one planned for earlier in the week but this would be in the streets for the _people_ to enjoy as well. What do you think Lina-san?"

"I think you ought to have let me fireball the guy, I mean _really!_ Telling _me_ how to eat! He was just begging for it-"

"Li-na-sa---n, please, this is important not just for the temple but for Zelgadiss-san's birth-"

Amelia cut herself off, clamping both hands down over her mouth and staring wide-eyed at Lina over them; the sorceress raised an eyebrow and folded her arms looking at her friend sceptically.

"Zel's birthday? You actually managed to find that out? When is it?" Amelia shook her head furiously

"Can't tell, Promised, Justice" She managed to get out, at least that's what Lina thought the incoherent jumble she heard equated to. Amelia recovered quickly though not giving her time to dwell on it "Anyway, we need ideas for the end of the festival!"

"I have an idea," said a disembodied voice and the girls tensed "although you may not like it."

"Xellos!" Lina yelled and the priest phased into view sitting opposite her "How long have you been here?"

"That is a secret. So, do you want to hear my idea?"

They exchanged glances and after a moment's hesitation Amelia nodded, Xellos smirked and leaned forward as if discussing a conspiracy.

"I was in Zephillia recently on business when I overheard rumours about a girl" he opened an eye to look at Lina specifically "who had sold projections of her sister _bathing_" Lina paled considerably even though his eyes had returned to their normal happy state "I'm sure the people of Saillune would like to see their future queen in such a manner, it would be quite the show stopper. You could project the image onto the main temple perhaps, just for effect."

Amelia was sure she would lose the feeling in her legs and other extremities soon, from all the blood rushing to her face, fortunately a lifetime of diplomatic training kicked in and she maintained her composure

"T-thank you for the suggestion Xellos-san, but I don't think we'll be using it. Although I doubt you came all the way here just for that, is there something I can help you with?"

"Indeed there is, I have another challenge for you."

Amelia blinked, it had been nearly three years since Xellos's last 'challenge' she thought (or rather hoped) he had given up.

"And… just what is the contest to be this time?"

"Oh, nothing special, just a simple debate."

"A debate?" both girls asked and the trickster nodded his grin widening

"Well, question and answer session really. We ask a question in turn and the other has to answer and be able to explain that answer, the first to be unable to answer a question loses. Questions can be on _any_ subject. Lina-san can mediate if you like"

"What happens if you win?" Lina asked suspiciously, not trusting the mazoku's intentions.

"If I win… then we go with my idea for the end of the festival." Amelia's diplomatic composure snapped and she leapt to her feet yelling at the trickster, exchanging roles with Lina as her friend stopped her from destroying the immediate area with various offensive spells.

"YOU WANT TO SHOW PICTURES OF ME BATHING!"

"Not bathing necessarily, just naked will do." He replied, not missing a beat while Amelia fumed. She forced herself to calm down and realised he hadn't made any other conditions than 'naked', in which case… yes… that may just work…

"If I win?"

"What do you want?"

"… A favour, to be called upon at whatever time for whatever purpose I see fit."

"On the grounds that it doesn't conflict with my mistress's orders."

"Two such favours then."

"Acceptable." Xellos said with a nod and Amelia sank back into her chair.

"Very well. Lina-san, will you mediate?"

"Are you sure?" She asked, not thinking Amelia would go through with it, but then she had accepted (and won) the strip-poker challenge… Of course if she won this she could ask Xellos to do something equally embarrassing, like tap-dance down the street naked. Amelia nodded and Lina sighed, mentally preparing herself for what was to come.

"Alright then. Q and A session, questions on any subject and you have to be able to explain your answer. Also, Xellos, no answering with 'that's a secret' or any variant of it. Flip a coin to decide who goes first, here we go!"

Amelia lost the coin toss and Xellos decided to open with the big guns

"If action taken against a person in the name of justice is declared unfair, can it be that justice itself is unjust?"

"No, it cannot." At a nod from Lina she explained "Justice can be applied wrongly or in a way _viewed_ as being unfair, but cannot in itself be unjust." Lina nodded again and Amelia paused for a moment to consider her question, before settling with an age old classic;

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"

"The egg." He stated and was asked to explain "Dragons have been around much longer than chickens and have always hatched from eggs; hence there were eggs before there were chickens."

* * *

"Can you define love?" 

"If a tree falls in a wood…"

"Who was the first monarch of…"

"Why is the sky blue?"

"...one hand clapping?"

"…meaning of life?"

"…many were going to St Ives?"

"…Mazoku feel lust then?"

"…_did_ you manage to outdrink me anyway?"

* * *

The questioning continued for quite some time and Lina felt as if she were watching a long drawn out Brass Racquets match with her head moving from side to side to watch each contestant when, finally, Xellos asked a particularly obscure question. 

"What day of the week did the Kouma Sensou end on?" Amelia blinked, hesitated and looked to the ceiling as she thought through her answer, fist curled near her mouth in a typical Amelia pose.

"Ummm… Saturday."

"Wrong! I win!"

"No you don't." Lina interrupted and both turned to look at her "Rules are you have to answer and be able to explain your answer, nothing about the answer being _right_ or not."

Xellos's face remained calm, but inside he was seething, he was so close to getting back at the princess that he could practically taste it. An idea formed as he listened to her explanation and he began wording it correctly as he answered her own question, yes, this would be the one to win;

"What is the date of Zelgadiss-san's birthday?"

Amelia faltered and even Lina blinked. Xellos's grin widened as Amelia's head bowed and her shoulders slumped in defeat.

"I … I can't answer that."

"Then Xellos is the winner..." Lina said, somehow managing to look at the princess with sympathy and glare at Xellos at the same time. Amelia stood up and sighed deeply before once more taking on an air of diplomatic composure and pointing at Xellos.

"_You_ are going to sit right there and wait while Lina-san and I get a picture for you."

"My, my, feeling modest Amelia-chan? Don't worry; I'll wait."

Lina glared at Xellos for as long as she could before turning and following Amelia out into the palace.

"It'll be okay Amelia, I'm sure I read about a memory altering spell somewhere, if we work together we ought to be able to spread it over all of Saillune-" the sorceress blinked as she realised Amelia's shaking shoulders and gasping breath wasn't from tears but…laughter? "Oh no…she's gone crazy."

"N-no, I haven't Lina-san. I'm alright, really."

"But Xellos won! You'll have to…" Amelia shook her head

"No, Xellos lost, he lost the moment he stated his condition. He means to embarrass me but he can't succeed, justice always triumphs!" Lina looked at her confused and seriously believing she was either hysterical or insane. Or both. Amelia giggled some more "I'll show you when we get there..."

* * *

It was generally accepted that Amelia was very cute. If asked Lina would declare it true on the basis that she was cuter, Gourry would nod cheerfully and reply with 'Sure' or something of the nature, Zelgadiss would blush and nod stiffly, if you were lucky you might also get a whispered 'yes' and Phil... 

Actually it was probably best not to get Phil started on the subject, needless to say the answer would be positive though.

And so, if you took that cuteness, magnified it by a factor of ten or so, chibified it to extreme proportions, added a fluffy pink background complete with sparkly bits and flower petals, put on the most adorable expression with big blue eyes and the sweetest smile ever seen and you had a substance that could make the most cold hearted man weak at the knees and was potentially lethal to even the higher-ranked mazoku.

Enter Amelia's baby pictures.

Lina looked at the album in her hands with a rapidly growing grin. There were only a few that met the naked condition, but all of them were breathtakingly, astoundingly, sickeningly _Cute_. Lina snapped the book shut and looked at the princess over it, picturing Xellos's face when he saw it

"You win Amelia. You absolutely _win._"


End file.
